The Fair Fight

The funny this about any relationship is that there will always be a disagreement about something. Some issues are big, some small, but the trick is handling them in a loving manner. It's not about the disagreement as much is how we resolve the disagreement, so there won’t be further disagreements about the same issue in the future. 

Many times we're so wanting to be heard and to make our point, that we forget that our opinion is not the only opinion in the relationship that matters. We forget that both parties are seeing things from a different perspective.  We forget that each person has their own backstory and baggage, as well as relationship history that each is  using to inform their decision.

There's never really a right or  wrong in relationships it's just understanding that we see things from different view points  based on our history.  So, here's the trick -  neither has to be right or wrong but what both have to do is listen to one another.  It is important  to listen so we can hear and understand  how the other person feels. It is very important to listen and be aware just as it's also important to make sure that when we disagree we are loving in how we make our point. There is never a need to belittle or discredit someone else's feelings or opinion. 

The biggest mistake that we make when we are in a disagreement of any kind is that we pull out that arsenal of things that we know are hurtful and our goal seems to be not just to win but to hurt. Instead of us just making our point we go to this very dark and hurtful place. A place that in all actuality you can never really come back from.  When one person verbally attacks, the other person wants to come harder, and what started as one person just wanting to make a point turns into both parties spewing out every little thing that has ever bothered them. 

Unfortunately we are taught  when in a confrontation to go for the jugular,  but that doesn't serve us. That does not get us what we want, which is to be heard and for our feelings to be respected. When we speak on a  situation, and how we feel about the situation that is bothering us in clear precise words, and come from a place of love that does not place blame, but  expresses our feelings there is a much more positive outcome.

How are you expressing yourself? 

Love and blessings in divine order, 



Song of the day: “Hurting Each other” - The Carpenters