I was asked two questions , “Is monogamy natural?” and ”Do open relationships work?” The kind of relationships that you have throughout your life will depend on where you are mentally and emotionally at that time of your life, and each relationship that you have is going to be different.
I don’t know if monogamy is natural or not. I do know that it is a choice that some have chosen to follow. There have been scientific studies that say it’s not natural. So, who really knows? Every person is at a different place on how he or she feels about relationships and how to be in a relationship. The trick is finding the person that is at the same place in their thinking that you are.
In a perfect world we would all be in touch with ourselves. We would understand our emotional and physical needs, but it is not a perfect world and we are not all in touch with who we are and what we need. We have all been programmed to believe that a relationship should be between and man and a woman who should stay together until the day they die, buy a house and have a few kids. Where the problem comes in is that, that scenario isn’t what we all want or what we all need. We all have our back-story, and emotional baggage and it is important that we be honest with ourselves about what we want and need as well as what and how much we can handle.
There is no one answer to why people cheat in their relationships. The list ranges from insecurity, low self-esteem, neglect, abuse, because they think they can, as well as a persons belief that one person can’t fulfill their needs. With that said, we have to remember that nobody is perfect. We are all trying to find our way in life, and along the way we each knowingly or unknowingly will hurt the feeling of someone else.
Through every persons life at some point we have all been involved with more than one persons at a time. Whether it was coming out of one relationship and starting another, or starting a new relationship, but dipping back to the old every now and then. Very rarely is any adult every really single. So let us all be honest.
How we treat our relationship and the kind of relationship that we have will depend how we feel about ourself, and who we are in a relationship with. No two relationships will ever be the same. I think that we spend too much time trying to make our relationships be what we think they should be instead of learning our partners and ourselves and figuring out how to make our relationships work. Instead of being demanding, critical, selfish and controlling in our relationships we need to be loving and understanding. But, most of all we need to be compassionate and forgiving.
“Is monogamy natural?” and ”Do open relationships work?
Love and blessings in divine order,
Song of the day: “Question of Monogamy” - Keo Nozari
CD: Late Nite VIP