Moving Past The Pain

When a relationship has ended it’s very similar to a death, and in many ways it is. A person that you care about is no longer in your life. You have loss something and someone that was important you. Like any loss you will continue on with your life, and each day the pain will seem to hurt less and less, but in the immediate you hurt.

Through each of our lives we will experience the loss of a loved one either physically, emotionally or both. The hardest task for most is to figure out what to do next, and how to not hurt. The two main reasons that hold a persons back from healingafter the ending of a relationship are that they first– are trying to not feel love for the other person because they believe in the myth that if they are no longer together then they can no longer be friends, and the second–is that like anything else in life you have to find and give gratitude for the good things and the lessons that came from the relationship, as well as the loss of the relationship. 

There are many reasons why a relationship may end. No one has to be right or wrong, but when you can look back on the relationship honestly it will make all the difference in the world on how you move past the hurt. Sometimes, it is hard to see through the pain that a relationship might not have been good for you, that it might have been holding you back from being your best self, or that it wasn’t the best thing for either of you. When you can look at the relationship as it really was, and not the fantasy you painted in your imagination, you’ll find the grieving period will be much shorter. Many times we are holding onto the fantasy of what we hoped would be, and we allow that fantasy to get in the way of our healing. 

There is no right or wrong amount of time to grieve a loss of any kind. The end of a relationship is in it’s own way a death, and the mistake that most of us make is that we don’t allow ourselves time to grieve. At the end of anything that is important to you, you have to allow yourself time to grieve and process your loss. But, unlike a death you cannot continue to only see the good in the relationship, and not acknowledge the things that were unpleasant in the relationship. Continuing to do that will prolong the pain and never allow you to move forward. 

Just as you have to allow yourself time to grieve from your loss you have to allow yourself time to adjust to the change, because all that has really happened, is the dynamics of your life have changed. You must adjust to where you are in the present, so that you can move peacefully to where you want to go in the future. 

Love and blessings in divine order, 


Song of The day: “I Can’t Get Over You “ - Frankie Beverly &Maze