The Wounded Heart

The heart beats strongly and loves deeply, but it is fragile. The heart can so easily be wounded and bruised.  Sometimes we go into relationships that nourish us, heal us, and enrich our lives. There are other times when we go  into relationships  hoping that they will nourish or heal our wounds,  and yet we come away feeling depleted and more wounded than when we went in. 

What I have found important to remember is that in those relationships that have hurt us when we feel wounded and as though we have lost something we really have been given greater gifts than we could have imagined. We have been given the gift of knowledge and experience, which is irreplaceable and invaluable. We have also we have been given the gift of strength because when we look back at those moments when we thought we couldn’t go on, and then look at ourselves in the present we realize that we not only made it through the experience, but we are stronger and  better off for the experience. 

The true healing does not come from us jumping into another relationship hoping for someone else to heal us, but in appreciating the lessons and the strength that were gained from the experience. 

Are you appreciating your wounds?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

From the book “It’s All In How You Look At It (thought and questions about life) 

 

Song of the day:  “You Better Not Hurt Me” – Carol Riddick

CD of the day : “Moments Like This” -  Carol Riddick

 

 

 

www.StacyeBranche.com

In Our Words

As we go through our days talking about this, and talking about that so effortlessly we never really think about the power of your words, and the energy that we put out into the world. 

If most of us were to for just one day really pay attention to our dialog we might notice some of the negative, unhealthy, unhappy, and unsuccessful things that we can say about ourselves, and about others. 

In this one day of awareness, of being conscience, and making an effort to be more positive in our words and actions it could possibly change not only how we look at things, and maybe even change our lives to something more healthy, positive, happy, and successful. This one day  could change how we see ourselves, and how others see and treat us. 

Do you pay attention to your words???

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye 

From the book “It’s All In How You Look at It (thought and questions about life) 

Song of the day: “Beautiful” - Christina Aguilera

CD of the day: “Stripped” (2002) - Christina Aguilera

 

 

 

 

A New Chapter, A New Book

As we enter into new relationships it’s important to remember that we are not only starting a new chapter in our lives, but a new book.  We must open the book and write the story new. Although the story maybe familiar in some ways it is one that has not yet been told. It is our opportunity to write the story that we have been waiting to tell. 

We each have previous chapters with previous relationships, and stories that we know all too well. We have to remember that this new person is a new course to study, and there are many new lessons to learn.  We wouldn’t use Math in your History class, so why shouldn’t we take the time to study the new person we’re in a relationship with, and not treat them or think that they will treat us like previous chapters, and books in their life. 

Like any course there are many lesson to be learned, and taught to and by us. This takes time, patience, understanding, and forgiveness.  But, most important it takes remembering that this relationship is a new chapter in our lives, but more so that this new relationship it’s self is a new book. 

Are you appreciating the new???

Have an amazing week!!!

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

From the book “It’s All In How You Look at It (thought and questions about life) 

Song of the day: “We Can Be New” - Amel Larrieux

CD of the day: “Bravebird” – Amel Larrieux

 

Finding Life's Filling Station

Many of us walk through our lives trying to find happiness, but yet we do many things and surround ourselves with people that don’t make us feel good. So, if the goal is to be happy then why don’t we put ourselves in more situations that bring happiness to our lives?

I believe that our purpose on this planet is to be happy and bring happiness to others. But, some how many of us end up walking a path that we think we should walk instead of the path that makes us happy.  Chasing money and status only to find out once we have reach that plateau that happiness doesn’t live there.  If you are doing all the things that you thought and were told you should be doing and you still feel unsatisfied and empty then you are not doing what you should be doing, and all the money in the world isn’t going to fill that void. 

Along each of our journey and the path to finding ourselves the true trick to happiness becomes finding not just where we belong in the world, and where those people of like-mind are, but how to bring and keep those things and people in our lives. 

This is not about looking outside of yourself to find happiness, because your happiness starts with you, you knowing and loving yourself. When you know and love yourself then the true journey begins with you surrounding yourself with people and things that make you feel good. When you feel good  you are filling yourself with love. You then become your own filling station and you have the ability to constantly fill yourself with love. When you are doing things you enjoy and surrounding yourself with people that you enjoy you feel good, and you look good and you are able to give that  love back to the world. 

Are you filling yourself with love????

Love and blessings in divine order , 

Stacye

Song of the day : “Living  In Truth”  - Stacye Branché

The Game of Love

We desire to love and be loved, but it isn’t always so easy to obtain what we desire. Many of us have learned by our examples from our families and the media, as well as our own experiences on how to go about finding and being in a relationship.  We keep trying to repeat the same patterns over and over again, and when they don’t work we want to know why. What we forget is that each person and each relationship is different, and although there can be some similarities no two people or relationships can ever be alike. 

We want to believe that there is this one magical solution to a successful relationship, but there isn’t. We want finding someone to be easy, and we want the relationship to be easy, but the game of love is no different than the playing your favorite sport.  To be good at the game, or to get to the play-offs it takes a lot of hard work, and focus. 

Love is no different than Basketball you can’t win the game by yourself. If you have ever played a sport you know that it requires practice, discipline, trial and error, research, learning your teammates strengths and weaknesses as well as your own, observation, communication, and dedication, but most of all it takes team work. 

We can all have the relationship that we desire, but it requires that we put as much effort into the finding and maintaining of the relationship as we would any other goal that we would work to achieve. 

Are you showing up to the game to win?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Song of the day: “The Game of Love (feat. Michelle Branch)” -     Santana

CD: Shaman        

Accepting

It’s funny how un-accepting we can be.  We criticize, we judge, and just basically make no effort to understand when people are different from ourselves.   Why is it so hard for us to accept what it different?  Why can’t we allow others to be themselves? 

What makes the world interesting is our individuality. Be it Black, White, Straight, Gay, Married, Single, Thin, Thick, Christian, Jewish or Muslim.  Why can’t we allow others the express themselves the way they see fit? But, more importantly why can’t we appreciate and be loving towards those different? 

I ask this question, because I notice that during the course of the day there is no person who does not experience or witness some form of discrimination because they themselves or someone else is in someway different in appearance or culture.  Instead of blessing the spirit that stands before us, celebrating their individuality or maybe taking a moment to get a better understanding of the other person.  The person that is considered different is treated in a rude or disrespectful manner. 

We come from different times, cultures, backgrounds, and religions, but at the end of the day we have to remember we are one. There is only a difference if you want there to be. But that little bit of individuality shouldn’t get in the way of anyone being loving, kind, considerate, or understanding. Every life from every race, economic background, and religion is valuable and should be treated as such. 

Yes, we all run into those people that are harmful and those people come in all colors and religions, but it still does not call for judgment just distance.  You bless them and send them on their way. We will never really understand all that there is in the world, but my won’t it be fun trying. 

Were you accepting today?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye 

 Song of the day : “We Are One” - Frankie Beverly and Maze

What Did You Give Today?

As you walked through your day what did you give? As you made your way on your usual path did you at least give a smile to those you came in contact with or did you   hold your head down?  Did you wear a frown or did you turn your head and move about as though no one else exist? 

While at work did you give your all and more, or did you give just enough to get by? As you spoke to your family and friends were you loving, kind, considerate and giving or were you complaining, selfish, and having a “Pity Party” with the entire trimmings? 

As you moved through your day. Were you the best that you could be? There is a saying “You get what you give”. So, if you were not loving, kind, considerate, caring or pleasant why would you expect to get that from someone else? If you are sitting around complaining having your own non-stop “Pity Party” why would you expect anyone to want to be in your company?

We sometimes want so much from others but give so little in return. Then we act as though we don’t understand why our lives are the way they are.  It starts with you. To quote Michael Jackson “I’m starting with  the man in the mirror”. 

So, I start my day being thankful and grateful for all of the blessings in my life, and continue my day giving thanks. I acknowledge everyone I come in contact with. I smile at everyone whether they smile back or not because I have that to give, and I don’t need their permission to be happy.    You see I give love, kindness, and consideration because those are the things that I want in return. 

What did you give today?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Song of the Day: Love's In Need Of Love Today - Stevie Wonder 

 

www.StacyeBranche.com

Knowing When To Let Go

We all have people in our lives that are in someway hurting themselves. We talk and talk yet our words fall on deaf ears. The thing that we have to remember is that we each have our own journey we must travel, our own emotions that we are experiencing, and pain that we must handle, and we each handle them differently.

It’s not always possible to know the demons that haunt a persons mind, the demons that push someone to self-destructive behavior such as the over indulgence in drugs and alcohol or other kinds physical self-destruction. As a caring and loving friend or family member it’s our desire to help that person get help and to heal, but sometimes no matter what we do it isn’t possible to help them, and their self-destruction becomes a destructive force in the lives of everyone around them.

As much as you can love and care for another person there comes a point when you must realize that it’s time to let them walk their walk in the way they choose even if it’s a walk you don’t agree with or understand.  Sometimes our help is more harm than help, and the person that is self-destructive knowing they will always have that safely blanket doesn’t put the work in that they need too,  and for some that are self-destructive they have to lose everything to want to get better.

If you have reached the point that it’s time to walk way the most you can do for yourself is to give yourselves permission to let go and not feel guilty when someone else’s self destruction becomes a destructive force in your own life. The walk away is not cruel it is self-preservation and possibly the best gift that you can give them.

Do you know when and how to let go?

Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye

 

Finding Your Way In Love

Many times when we are in relationships  we  find that we have lost our own way. We become so engrossed in pleasing the other person that we forget the things that matter to us personally. And, then one day we wake up and we find that we are unhappy. We’re still in love were just not happy. Were not happy because somewhere along the way we got lost in our relationship. We got lost being in love taking care of kids, taking care of a home, having a job, and those things that brought us joy seemed nonexistent.

It’s very important in any relationship to never lose sight of yourself. No matter what title you hold mother, father, sister, brother, friend, or lover you can never lose sight of who you are and what matters to you. We are all individuals with our own journey and goals, and it’s really important to never lose sight of those things. Because the minute you do it opens the door for depression to set in. You become so focused on what everyone else wants you begin to feel as though you're not good enough, or what you’re doing is not good enough, and that shouldn’t be. 

We are each here with a purpose. We each have a journey that is ours and ours alone. Lessons to learn and experiences to have. It is always important no matter what your situation to never lose sight of what brings you joy and what brings you happiness whether you make money at it or not. If someone is a musician whether they make money at it or not they never stopped loving music so it’s important that they continue to have music in their life. And that’s the same for anyone no matter what it is that brings them joy and makes them feel good whatever their passion is it is always important to have your passion, and you should be able to incorporate your passion into your life no matter what it is you do.

No matter what your relationship you should never lose sight of what is important to you and makes you feel good. Anyone that loves you loves you for the individual you are not the carbon copy you might be trying to be. Remember when two people come together they are still two people they don’t become one. They are two people sharing a journey.

Are you finding your way in love ? 

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye 

Song of a day: “Me, Myself & I”  - Beyonce 

Cd of the day : Dangerously In Love   - Beyonce 

 

www.StacyeBranche.com

I'll Try Something New

We can go through life doing the same thing , talking to the same people day in and day out. But, where is the growth in that? 

I try to find an adventure everyday.  I find in not having a routine I am able to met new people, learn a lesson, but most importantly better myself.   That is my daily goal , to continue to better myself. I try to stay conscience of all around me, and approach everything from a place of love.   

The something new could be going down a different street, trying something new for lunch or dinner.  But, I know in that, that one something new brings growth. and sometimes amazing experiences.  

Did you do something new today???

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye 

From the Book "It's All In How You Look At It(thoughts and questions about life)

The Commitment

There are a lot of things that we are taught in life, but the one thing we are never really taught is how to be in a healthy and happy relationship. It’s almost like we assume that just because we found someone of the opposite sex or the same sex that we are interested in that things should just work out. But, the truth is that there is more to a relationship than just attraction, and like anything that we want to be successful at a relationship takes continuous work and commitment. 

Deep down we all have a desire to love and be loved, but we may not know how to go about it. For most of us we learn how to be in relationships from our parents and the other people in our immediate circle. If we see drama, jealousy, abuse or cheating than we assume that, that is what people do in relationships, but it doesn’t have to be that way. To achieve the relationship that you desire is really all in your choices and in your commitment. Not just the commitment to the other person but a commitment to yourself to give your best to the relationship. Just because you have seen something doesn’t mean that, that it is the way things should be. What matters is what feels good and right to you and what make you feel good. 

To have the right relationship first starts with loving yourself and finding the that someone that you are of course attracted to, but more importantly someone that you connect with on a deeper level, someone that you have shared interest with, as well as common goals and beliefs. 

What really makes a relationship successful is mutual love and respect. It’s about being fearless, and not worrying about the what if’s, and the what could possibly go wrong, or giving up when things get tough, but committing to working at making your relationship the best it can be. That starts with being loving, kind, respectful, and considerate. It’s about giving exactly what it is you claim to want - which is love. True success comes from being able to Love through the good times and the challenging times. 

Are you committed to your relationship?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

I Am A Tree

I am young and fragile, but I know with nourishment (love, kindness, and compassion)

I will grow big, tall and strong. 

It is important that as I grow I am protected from the elements. (hate, fear, and danger) so that my growth is not stalled in anyway. 

I know I am growing in every second, every minute, in every hour of every day. 

Even though I cannot see it, I know I am always growing. 

As I grow I will be ever changing. (appearance, weight, emotionally, spiritually)

I will lose some of my leaves (family, friends, habits) that will be replaced by new leaves. 

I will be ever changing and growing into the beautiful tree that has been planted, nourished, and loved by God. 

Are you  loving the tree that  you are ??? 

Love and blessings in divine  order , 

Stacye Branché 

Song of the day:    Get It Together India.Arie

CD of the day:   Voyage to India    India Arie

From the book “It’s All in How You Look At It (thoughts and questions about life) “

 

 

www.StacyeBranche.com

Passions and Possessions

A house 

A car 

A watch 

A ring

These are things that are bought.  They are things that we own. 

Love 

The heart

Feelings

Emotions

These are things that are felt, and shared. 

It is an honor to be in a relationship. It is a privilege to have someone to love and care about, who loves and cares about us in return. Yet, we sometimes treat our relationships like something that we have bought; like something that we own.  We are selfish with our relationships, and many times we take them for granted. 

A person and their feelings are not possessions.  We do not own the person we are in a relationship with.  We are sharing our lives, feelings, and an experience.  

We must learn to show our relationships the honor and respect they deserve.  We must remember we are dealing with another person, not homes, cars, watches or rings. Just as we have feelings that we want acknowledged, considered, and gently handled, so does the person or persons  (keeping it real) that we are in a relationship with. 

Are you separating your passions and possessions ???

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye Branché

When The Romance Is Over

We can use all kinds of excuses for why we continue a romantic relationship that we know we should end, but the only real answer is fear. The fear of being alone, the fear that your financial situation will change, the fear that the other person can’t handle it, or the fear that they will no longer be in your life if the dynamics change.

The mistake that most of us make is that we go into our relationships romantic and platonic alike treating the relationship like a procession. We implement all of these rules and restrictions never really cultivating true friendships. It’s all or nothing. The sad thing is because of this all of nothing attitude people miss out on wonderful relationships.

We have been programmed to believe that if we are no longer going to be romantic than we can no longer be in each other’s lives, or worst we believe we have to be enemies. That is so not true. First of all you can never have a real romance if there was never a friendship. If there is true friendship in any relationship, time, distance, nor circumstances should be able to come between you. If your relationship was romantic you should be able to remain friends whether you are still romantically involved or not. Because sometimes some people make better friends than they to lovers.

If two people really care about each other they should be able to have honest conversations with each other about their wants, needs, and desires, and there is no need to be fearful. That is what a real friendship is, and if two people really care about each other just because the romance is over doesn’t mean they can’t be friends it only means that the dynamics have changed.

Are you missing out on some friendships???

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Song of the day: “ That’s What Friends Are For” – Deniece Williams
CD: This Is Niecy

A Friend

We are all so quick to call someone our friend when in actuality most of us have one or two friends, and several acquaintances and people that we know or know of. 

Many people don’t often understand what friendship is. There are many times we are disappointed and hurt because someone doesn’t show the way that we think that they should, but what we have to take into consideration is what that person is in our life and what they think we are to their life, We also have to take into consideration if that person really understand what friendship is.

Friends are people that you share your journey with, and have experiences with. Friendship is about being there for each other, being supportive of each other through the good times as well as the challenging time. A friend goes through the good times with you and cheers you on even if what you are doing in not really their cup of tea. Friends are not jealous. A friend is supportive and wants you to do well and to be happy. 

In the challenging times a friend is there to help you through the challenge. A friend is there to lift you up and to encourage you, and not run off like a little roach when the lights come on. A friend is there isn the challenging time to help sooth your wounds and give you the fuel needed to push forward.

It’s very important to know who you have allowed in your life, and the roll they will play in your life as well as the roll that they wish for you to play in their life. The most important thing about friendship that you have to remember is that you can’t expect  from someone else what you yourself are not willing to give.

Do you know how to be a friend?

Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye

Song of the day: “A Friend” - The Winans (featuring Teddy Riley & Aaron Hall)    

CD: Return    

The Journey of Grief

We have all suffered a loss of some sort, and other than the loss of a loved one we are never really taught how to deal with loss. We are expected to, and always think it is best to move on and get over it, but a loss plain and simple is a loss and it’s painful. 

In most societies we are expected to grieve over the loss of a loved one, but what we are not taught is that a loss of any kind whether it is the loss of a job, a home, a relationship, or a loved one that loss requires time to grieve and to heal. It is impossible to move forward and be the best you can be in your next job, home, or relationship if you have not dealt with your emotions properly. You have to understand the good that came from the experience and the necessary changes that need to be made for you to do better in the future.

It is important that you know you are doing yourself a great disservice if you don’t take the time to grieve your losses. Just like we take time and care to say good by to our loved ones it is important that we take the time and care to properly say goodbye to our old situations so that we can show up complete and ready to put in the best that we have to give in our new situation.

When we take the time to properly say goodbye, heal, and put things in perspective we are able to reflect on the good that came from the past experience and not the pain that came with the loss.

Do you allow yourself to grieve?

Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye


Song of the day : “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart Al Green (feat. Joss Stone)
CD: Sex and the City (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

The Transformation

When you reach a point where you can take no more, you know a change must come.  When you know the only way to reach your goals a change must come. 

We all at some point in our lives realize that a change has to take place.  When we know that the life that we are living  may not  be the life we want.  It’s easy to settle, too easy make excuses, but we know that a change has to come. The road of change can be difficult, but if it was easy you would have taken the road long ago. 

Along the road you must stay focused, and know that the rewards will be worth the uphill climb.  You may come across obstacles, family and friends that may not be supportive of your improvements, but you can't let them discourage you. You have to keep in mind that your progress maybe a reminder that they are avoiding acting on their own life changes or maybe just their own fear of living. All of which you don't have to accept.  But, don't look down on them. Bless them and pray that they will find the best path for themselves.

Remember the change begins with you. Remember not to let the negativity of others discourage you. You may lose a few so-called friends along the way. But, what you will gain is worth  all that you will go through to get there. 

How bad do you really want change?

Stay positive ☺

Love and blessings in divine order,

Stacye

 

Blind Love

I was asked the question “If I believed in Blind Love”. The answer is yes.   First and foremost we are one.  We are all born the same way, we all have blood that flows through our veins, and we have the same exact organs in our bodies.  Yes, we are all unique, but we are all the same.  So, I think that not wanting to date out of your race is like only wanting to date someone that is tall and thin. It’s really about what you prefer, and true love has nothing to do with looks.

Do I believe that love can be blind? Yes, I not only believe that love can be blind, but I believe that it should be blind. I think that it is about who your connection is with,  whether they are  black, white, yellow, green, blue, same-sex, or opposite sex. It’s about you finding true love, and looking deeper than the wrapper on the package. 

I think that there would be more happy people in good relationship if they got out of their own way, and stop looking at and for the package that in most cases once they unwrap it might not be at all what they want, but more important might not be what they need.  It’s unfortunate that most people base what they want in a relationship on what others might say or think instead of standing up for what they want and need. That again is about knowing and loving who you are, and being able to stand-up for who your are, and what you believe in no matter what others have to say. 

I believe that if we listen to our heart it can see faster and better than our eye’s 

So tell me is your love blind??

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Song of the day: “Just the Way You Are” -     Billy Joel            

CD of the day:  “The Stranger” – Billy Joel

www.StacyeBranche.com

 

Looking Passed The Fantasy

Most people have their fantasy of what the think their ideal mate should look like, act like, smell like, and taste like, but sometimes we are so busy looking for our idea of perfection that we miss out on the gift. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want in a mate or might think that you want in a mate.  You can’t get lost in the superficial . You have to be careful to not allow what you think is right for you to get in the way of what might be for your highest good. 

For most people their fantasy consist mainly of the visual, and that is all great for the short term or one night stand, but when you are dealing with having a real relationship the fantasy should be much deeper than that. How someone looks, the kind of job someone has or how much money they make, these are things can that help, but looks and money can be taken away in an instance. The true fantasy or desire should be to have someone in your life that loves and cares about you, someone that treats you well, someone who is thoughtful of your feeling, and someone that you genuinely share interest and beliefs with.

A lot of the of the time two people meet and really hit is off, but because one person might not be wearing the right outfit or shoes, or maybe bites their nail the other person can’t get passed their fantasy to see further into what could be a great connection. Instead they stay floating in the superficial world wondering why they feel empty and can’t find a true connection.

It’s great if our fantasy shows up being everything that we need and want in our life, but if you are still in search of your fantasy or your fantasy has turned out to be a nightmare it might be time to start taking the time to look deeper than the surface. 

Are you able to dig down deep or are you stuck in the superficial?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

 

More Love To Give

I hear people speak of their Ex’s. Not always in the kindest terms, and I wonder how it is that they can say “I use to love them”. If you ever really loved someone do you stop loving him or her?  

How can you deliberately hurt someone you say that you loved? How can you speak ill of someone you say that you loved? How can you not wish only the best for someone you say you loved?  But most of all how can people say they use to love someone?

If you love someone you should still love them, and want only the best for him or her whether they are with you or not.  Because you love them.  All relationships grow and change. Sometimes we grow together and sometimes we grow apart. You can still love someone and no longer love being with them. Sometimes we confuse the action with the feelings or emotion. Just because someone has hurt your feelings doesn’t mean they don’t love you it means that they we thoughtless in their words or behavior towards you.  From that you have to decide whether you can forgive and move forward or forgive and move on. But, it doesn’t mean that you stopped loving them 

I still speak with the men I’ve dated. I still care about them, and they still care about me. We just aren’t together anymore.   I wish them well in their lives, and I hope that they wish the same for me. I am able to move forward in my life without regret because I know that I have loved and I have  more than enough love give. 

Do you have more love to give??

Love and Blessing in divine order, 

Stacye

Song of the day: “ Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” – Roberta F

CD of day: Roberta Flacks Greatest Hits

 

 

www.StacyeBranche.com