Many times we think that because the relationship we’re in is not as we wish for it to be we label it as complicated. What you have to remember is that you are either in a relationship or you are not there is no in between. It may not be the relationship that you started out to be in, or maybe it is moving along at the pace slower than you would like, but again you are in a relationship or you are not.
If you are in a relationship and it is not what you want it to be then you have to figure out if it is where you want to stay, and if so you have to figure out how you can make it the relationship that you want it to be. If it is not The relationship you want , and not worth the work to fix it than you need to figure out how to remove yourself from the relationship and move towards having the relationship that you want to be in.
We sit on the fence because we are afraid. We are afraid if we love wholeheartedly it won’t be returned, or we are afraid to leave an unhappy relationship that we might end up alone. What you are really doing is putting up a roadblock to the type of relationship that you really want. You either have to work for it or put yourself in the position to find it.
Like anything that we truly wish to be successful at a relationship requires commitment. You cannot sit on the fence, you cannot wonder, you have to commit. If the relationship is what you want, than you have to commit until you no longer wish to be with that person and no longer wish to commit to the relationship.
So, the next time you go to describe your relationship think about this. You are in a relationship or you are not. It is not complicated. If you are planning to end the relationship, separated or getting divorced you are still in a relationship and you’re in it until you are not. If there is a relationship that you are working at or trying to be in you are either in it or you are not. You can't sit on the fence waiting on the what if, and waiting to see how it turns out. You have to commit to the relationship. Because once you commit then you will be in the relationship, and be moving closer to the type of relationship you want, but as long as you treat the relationship like you are not in it, then you won’t be.
Are you in a relationship or not?
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day: “Love” Musiq Soulchild
CD Aijustwanaseing
"Monogamy or Open That Is The Question"
I was asked two questions , “Is monogamy natural?” and ”Do open relationships work?” The kind of relationships that you have throughout your life will depend on where you are mentally and emotionally at that time of your life, and each relationship that you have is going to be different.
I don’t know if monogamy is natural or not. I do know that it is a choice that some have chosen to follow. There have been scientific studies that say it’s not natural. So, who really knows? Every person is at a different place on how he or she feels about relationships and how to be in a relationship. The trick is finding the person that is at the same place in their thinking that you are.
In a perfect world we would all be in touch with ourselves. We would understand our emotional and physical needs, but it is not a perfect world and we are not all in touch with who we are and what we need. We have all been programmed to believe that a relationship should be between and man and a woman who should stay together until the day they die, buy a house and have a few kids. Where the problem comes in is that, that scenario isn’t what we all want or what we all need. We all have our back-story, and emotional baggage and it is important that we be honest with ourselves about what we want and need as well as what and how much we can handle.
There is no one answer to why people cheat in their relationships. The list ranges from insecurity, low self-esteem, neglect, abuse, because they think they can, as well as a persons belief that one person can’t fulfill their needs. With that said, we have to remember that nobody is perfect. We are all trying to find our way in life, and along the way we each knowingly or unknowingly will hurt the feeling of someone else.
Through every persons life at some point we have all been involved with more than one persons at a time. Whether it was coming out of one relationship and starting another, or starting a new relationship, but dipping back to the old every now and then. Very rarely is any adult every really single. So let us all be honest.
How we treat our relationship and the kind of relationship that we have will depend how we feel about ourself, and who we are in a relationship with. No two relationships will ever be the same. I think that we spend too much time trying to make our relationships be what we think they should be instead of learning our partners and ourselves and figuring out how to make our relationships work. Instead of being demanding, critical, selfish and controlling in our relationships we need to be loving and understanding. But, most of all we need to be compassionate and forgiving.
“Is monogamy natural?” and ”Do open relationships work?
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day: “Question of Monogamy” - Keo Nozari
CD: Late Nite VIP
Sexless or Loveless
It’s easy to fall into a pattern. The challenge comes in working to break the pattern. Patterns in what we eat, and what we do. Some of our patterns can be good for us and to our advantage, while others can create more of a problem.
In relationships it’s easy to fall into bad patterns or habits of taking your partner for granted. Sometimes because we get so caught up in our own going on’s that we forget that we have chosen to share the experience of a relationship with another person, but yet we expect them to be there waiting for that moment that when we decide that we want to spend time with them. The thing that we don’t realize is that we are creating a bigger problem then there needs to be, and in many cases fixing the relationship is easier said then done.
Each person whether they admit it or not needs some form of attention, affection, companionship and love. It is one of the reasons that we connect with other people. So, how can a relationship last if one or both are neglecting the other? Simple – it can’t.
There are many reason why a couple may not be able to be intimate, but no good reason why they cannot remain affectionate or pay some sort of attention to their partner. So, if your relationship has reached a point where you can no longer be affectionate, than maybe you have reached a point where you are somewhere you no longer need to be.
Being somewhere where you are not happy or where you don’t want to be makes no sense at all. It is only fear and laziness that hold you back and can make you believe that life cannot be better than where you are.
Relationships are continuous work, but they can and should also bring great pleasure. If you are not in a relationship that makes you happy, lifts you up, and makes you feel good, then you might be in the wrong relationship. If you have reached a point in your relationship where you are going through the motion than it is time that you start putting in the work to make things better, or hit the road to find what and who will make you happy, because a relationship without love isn’t really a relationship at all.
Are you willing to do the work????
Love and Blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day : Is It Still Good to Ya - Ashford & Simpson
CD: Is It Still Good to Ya
Good or Bad It's On You
We can all find something in our lives that we’re not happy about, and without much effort we can easily find someone to blame for whatever uncomfortable thing that we are experiencing. But, the truth is no matter what is going on in your life good or bad you are the only person responsible.
There are many things that we are taught, but the habit to place blame even a small child has mastered. For some reason we are never really taught to be responsible for own actions or maybe that is one of those things that we have chosen to not learn.
Taking responsibility isn’t only about fessing up when you make a mistake, but what it is about making the choices that are best for you. For example when you go to the Doctor and you decide to take medication without getting more information about your illness or the product you are taking, and you have a negative reaction. You are the only one to blame because you chose to turn your health over to someone else, or for that matter doing anything that you know is not good for you and there is a possibility of a negative outcome especially where your health is concerned you are the only person to blame. Relationships are no different. When things aren’t going right in your relationship but you choose to blame the other person rather than to acknowledge what you might have done to contribute to the tension, again you are the blame.
The thing is that our lives are just that – ours. Though the easy and the difficult, through sickness and in health, where we end up and how we get there is all in the choices that we choose to make, and what we allow others to do to us.
Are you taking responsibility for you?
Song of the day: "Super Life" - Chaka Khan
CD: Funk This
The Misunderstanding of Love
For some reason many of us believe that love can only be between two people, but where did we get that? There is a very big difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone. We all have our friends and our family, but how we feel about them is different from the person that you are in a committed relationship with.
The sad thing is that most people treat their relationships like possessions, with a mine mine, mine attitude. We don’t want anyone that we consider ours to be friends with anyone else, especially the opposite sex. It’s almost like we can’t understand what they would need someone else for. To make matters worst we deny ourselves friends of the opposite and same sex in the name of being faithful.
Here’s the deal, we as people need other people. Relationships are not houses, cars, or something that you bought at the mall. As “in love” as you might be with the person you’re in a committed relationship with it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a life, or that your partner can’t have a life. What it does mean is that you have found someone that you choose to give as much of yourself as you are capable of giving to someone, and that at least for the time being this is the person that you want to spend your life with. What you have to keep in mind is that as in love with your partner as you may be it’s almost impossible for them to be everything to you, as much as you would like for them to be, and vice versa.
This is where friends come in, those of the same sex and those of the opposite sex. It’s nice to have friends that you have a shared interest with, especially if it’s something that your partner isn’t interested in, But, the real question that you have to be clear about is are you in the relationship that you want to be in and you just have friends, or are you looking for a way out of your relationship?
Just because two people of the opposite sex are friends it doesn’t mean that they are physically attracted to each other, but they could be. That very fine line is either going to get crossed or it’s not, but either way all the jealousy in the world isn’t going to make a difference. This is why it is so important to know yourself and what you want, and to be clear with whom ever you’re in a relationship with about the kind of relationship you want to have with them.
The important thing to remember is that you are a consenting adult as is your partner, and whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and all jealousy really does is drive people apart , it never brings them closer together.
How are you handling your relationship??
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day: Settle For My Love - Patrice Rushen
CD: Pizzazz
Doing Your Best
When we start our relationships we usually let our representative start it out for us. The kind, thoughtful, considerate, fit , clean, and well mannered individual that our mothers raised, but for some reason isn’t with us as often as they should be.
As time goes by, our representative leaves the building, and we show up to the party. Not quite as thoughtful, considerate, or as fit and clean as we started out. Then we start to take our relationship for granted. It starts out with little things that seem to grow over time. Then one day we look up and we aren’t happy in that relationship anymore, and we don’t know what went wrong.
Of course the first thing we do is find fault with our partner. There is a list of complaints too long to mention, but I always find it funny how no one ever stops and says “I know what I’ve done wrong, I take responsibility and I want to fix it”. It takes two to tangle, and we have to remember for every action, there is a reaction. If one or both parties changes within the relationship neither can assume that it won’t cause problems in the relationship.
For any relationship to truly be successful you have to first love yourself before you can love someone else. But, you also have to take responsibility for who you are, and what you bring to the table. There are some couples that really aren’t meant to be together, but for the ones that are with a little work, what use to be good can be again.
As the old saying goes “How you catch um, is how you keep um”.
Are you doing your best???
Love and Blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day: “Is It Still Good To Ya” – Ashford and Simpson
CD of the day : “ Is It Still Good To Ya” - Ashford and Simpson
www.StacyeBranche.com
The Red Flag Warning
Every person whether they want to acknowledge it or not comes across a “Red Flag Warner”. That moment when you are in conversation with another person and they say or do something that doesn’t feel right, and yet we will just over look this uncomfortable moment, and we will tuck it away in a bed full of excuses. The funny thing about the “Red Flag Warning” especially in relationship is that when we come to the end of a relationship we always seem to remember the “Red Flags” that we saw early on and chose to ignore.
Here’s the thing, people always show you who they are , just as we show who we are, but because of loneliness or plain ol’ animal attraction we overlook the things that don’t sit well with us. And, yet with horns blaring and flags waving we continue walking into the danger zone. Fool ourselves into believing that this thing that doesn’t sit well with us can continue to be overlooked or is something that we can fix. It’s true that it takes time to get to know someone, but if you really paying attention there is a lot of important things you can learn in a short time.
It is always good to know what it is you need and want from any relationship as well as your intentions. If you’re clear about who you are, what you need and want then when you meet someone and they do or say something that does not feel right to you then that is a “Red Flag and you know not to move forward. But, if you’re not clear you will fool yourself into believing that the situation is something you can work with or fix.
As the old saying goes you “can’t judge a book by it’s cover”, and that is true, but if you can take 10 minutes you can open a book, skim the pages, and if you look closely and trust your instincts you might see that there is no happy ending at the end of the story for you . Trust your instinct they can save you a lot of heartache and grief.
Do you trust your instincts???
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
www.StacyeBranche,com
Sending In the Representative
The thing I always find funny is how when you meet someone you have to wonder who you just met. Did you really meet that person or did you meet their representative, and will the real them will show up a couple of months down the line?
You wake-up one day and say to yourself who is this person? Where did they come from, and what did they do with the person I though I was in a relationship with? The simple answer is “the Representative has left the build”.
Is it that we don’t like ourselves or to we not think that we are good enough that we can’t be ourselves when we meet someone of interest? We want people to be honest with us, but yet we don’t give honesty in return. Never taking into consideration if we have to put on a show, and are not ourselves with this person, that maybe this isn’t someone we need in our life.
People like to blame the honeymoon phase when the relationship begins to take a negative turn. Saying the honeymoon is over. The reality is that when the representative leaves the building usually whoever is left is not someone that you would have had anything to do with in the first place, and vice versa.
If you know and love who you are, then you know that the right person is out there for you. The right person will love you for all that you are, and not ask you to be someone different. You might be a little lonely waiting, but in the long run it could be worth the wait.
Who have you sent to the party you or the representative???
Love and blessings in divine order
Stacye
www.StacyeBranche.com
If Trust Is The Matter
Many of us whether knowingly or unknowingly allow our past relationships to play a big part in the decision making process of how we meet new people, establish a relationship with a new partner, and in our conduct during a relationship. We deny ourselves and make someone suffer because of the action of another.
Because we many times don’t look at both sides of a situation or we move on from a relationship without finding forgiveness and healing our wounds. We begin building this wall that with every relationship attempt continues to grow. Without doing a little work on yourself, and healing the wounds of the past one day no matter how much you have going for you, you become the last person in the room that anyone wants to get to know, and because of this wall you could find yourself one day waking up alone.
There two very big mistakes that we make in the relationship game. The first is that we forget that it takes two to tango. We not only have to acknowledge our part in the success or failure of the relationship, but we have to find the lesson and the blessings in the experience. The second is that you can’t assume that every man or every woman is going to treat you the same. You can’t generalize and think that all people of a certain group are going to behave or treat you the same way that someone else has treated you. If you go into a relationship believing that things are going to be a certain way, than that is exactly what your words and actions are going to make happen.
The answer: if trust is an issue for you, and you find that you are seeing a displeasing pattern in your relationships it might be time to take a long hard look at your own behavior in the relationships. Instead of placing blame take some responsibility. You need to figure out what is it in you that is attracting the same kind of person, or what is it that you might be doing that is bringing those qualities out in a person. That means that you have to live in the present, heal some of your wounds of your past, and don’t allow your wall to get so high that you can’t see over it.
Do you have trust issues???
Song of the day: “Love The Hurt Away” - Eric Benét
CD: Day In The Life R&B
The Relationship Road To Deception
There is no right or wrong in relationships, but there is being honest with yourself about what you want and need from a relationship, and being honest with the person in your life.
Too many times we meet some one, we send in our representative, and we stay on our best behavior. We go into the relationship and we are still on our best behavior not letting the other person see who we really are. The thing is we are not only lying to the other person, but we are lying to ourself. We are denying ourself the true opportunity to be happy, but worst we are denying the other person the opportunity of knowing how amazing we are.
A relationship is between two people, and we cannot expect our relationship to be like someone else’s or like a relationship that we have had before. No one can tell you what is right or wrong for you and your relationship, and listening to others tell you what you should and should not do is sometimes the biggest mistake people make in regards to their relationship. Only you know what will work for you and your partner.
A relationship must have honesty, communication, and respect. With these things you will have a good relationship whatever kind of relationship you choose to have. If you cannot be honest with yourself and your partner about who you are, what you need, and what you want then you will never be able to have a relationship that makes you happy, but instead you will continue to be unhappy and constantly in search of that happy relationship you have dreamed of .
Are you on the road of deception in your relationship or are you on the road of honesty?
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day: “Talk To Me” - Anita Baker
CD: Compositions
When You Have Loved
It’s funny how people throw the words “I love you” around so casually, and can neglect or walk away from a relationship so easy. Although we should love one another being in love is a very different thing. Being in love is a very strong emotion. An emotion that you don’t get over, over night. If you have ever really loved someone you know this to be true.
Relationships come and they go for different reasons. Sometime we can love someone so much, but know that our relationship with them isn’t healthy for one or both of us, or maybe the timing isn’t good, or the relationship has just run it’s course.
If we have ever really been in love with anyone we know that we never stop loving him or her. At first we feel as though we can’t make it without them, but with each day the pain begins to fade, and we can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We realize that we are going to make it, and one day we will have the privilege to love again.
In the meantime, we have to be grateful for those valuable experiences that came from being in that relationship because they are the lessons that help us to learn who we are and what we really want. It is that gratitude that helps to bring on the change to help us move forward. Being grateful for our past, and our present helps to make for an incredible future.
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
From the book “It’s All In How You Look at It (thought and questions about life)
Song of the day: “Love’s Alright” - Chanté Moore
CD of the day : “Exposed” - Chanté Moore
Make Room For Happiness
Happiness seems sometimes eluding but the truth is that sometimes we have to make room for it. In life there are always going to be up’s and down’s and sometimes the down’s seem lingering, but that means it is time to clean the closet of our life.
As we go through life we often realize how much stuff we are collecting. Not just material things but people, and emotions. Now most of us are aware of the fact that we need to let go and clean our physical closets, homes garages, but very few of us ever think about or take the time clean our emotional closet. And, in that search for happiness we don’t realize that we can’t seem to achieve happiness because we are allowing our past experiences, hurts and sometimes people to get in the way of our present and future happiness. Sometimes just continuing to live our lives without taking a moment to acknowledge what we have been through so that we can move forward.
Happiness can be found in the smallest and simplest things, but when your emotional closet is full or overrun with negative things and people how can you find appreciation for those good people and things? How can you find joy, or happiness in a closet full of clutter??
We all have so much going on, but it is important to make time even if it is only five minutes a day to check in with ourselves and let go of some of those unwanted and many times negative feelings that fill our emotional closet and get in the way of our happiness.
Happiness isn’t hiding from you it is just waiting for some room so it can come in.
Are you making room for the happiness you seek or are you holding on to the clutter that prevents happiness from coming into your life?
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Compassion and Understanding
In relationships it’s easy to find things to be angry about, but much harder to take the time to try and understand where the other person is coming from, and to try and help them to better understand you. We are all guilty of being angry with our partner for doing something that we felt he or she should have known would upset or hurt us, but what we forget is that we all have our own back-story, our own way of looking at things, and our own life experiences that shapes how we look at and handle situations.
When you have made the decision to be in a relationship you have to put aside your ego and learn to speak and listen with your heart. It’s not always about being right, but about both of you helping the other to better understand your views, your wants and your needs. We have to remember that we never go into relationships on level ground. We each have our own life experiences and examples that we use to help us in conducting our relationships, but no matter what those experiences and examples are it’s important to not get angry when things occur that you don’t like, but to lovingly help the other person to understand you just as you should lovingly try to understand them.
Each relationship is a chance to tell a new story. It’s not about being right or wrong. It’s not about winning the war, but about loving each other. So, check your ego at the door and try to understand where the other person is coming from.
Are you being understanding or are you too busy trying to win the war???
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day: “Understanding” Xscape
CD: Hummin' Comin' At 'Cha
Love Is Love
So many times I hear people saying they don’t love someone anymore, but the reality is that love lives forever, it’s only the relationship that has ended.
I think that it’s unfair to require a definition on our feelings toward our past relationships just because we are no longer with them. Friends and family alike and even sometimes the new relationship want to hear us say that we not only don’t love our former lover but we hate them. And, I have to ask why?
Why is it necessary to reduce a relationship to nothing, as though the relationship never made you happy or never meant anything to you nor can it ever again mean anything to you?
Nothing is meant to last forever, and for that reason it’s important to remember that our relationships are part of our journey and growth. Yes, sometime relationships hurt, and sometimes there is much invested like a home and children, but if there hadn’t been some joy you wouldn’t have been there. People change, grow and sometimes grow apart. Just because you no longer want to be with someone or they no longer want to be with you it’s no reason to harbor resentment. You appreciate what you got out of the relationship and move on.
I always like to believe that I got whatever I was supposed to get from the relationship/experience and that the Universe has made way for a new relationship/experience. I take what I’ve learned to hopefully do better and be better in the future. Yes, things have happened to me that have hurt my feelings, but those things don’t change the love I have they just help me to better understand who I’m dealing with, and the things I do and don’t want in my life
Yes, there is a difference between loving someone, and being in love with someone, but at the end of the day if you love, then you love. And, really loving someone means wanting the best for them and their happiness even if that means them not being with you.
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of The day : “ I Will Always Love You” - Whitney Houston
A New Chapter , A New Book
As we enter into new relationships it’s important to remember that we are not only starting a new chapter in our lives, but a new book. We must open the book and write the story new. Although the story maybe familiar in some ways it is one that has not yet been told. It is our opportunity to write the story that we have been waiting to tell.
We each have previous chapters with previous relationships, and stories that we know all too well. We have to remember that this new person is a new course to study, and there are many new lessons to learn. We wouldn’t use Math in your History class, so why shouldn’t we take the time to study the new person we’re in a relationship with, and not treat them or think that they will treat us like previous chapters, and books in their life.
Like any course there are many lesson to be learned, and taught to and by us. This takes time, patience, understanding, and forgiveness. But, most important it takes remembering that this relationship is a new chapter in our lives, but more so that this new relationship it’s self is a new book.
Are you appreciating the new???
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
From the book “It’s All In How You Look at It (thought and questions about life)
Song of the day: “We Can Be New” - Amel Larrieux
CD of the day: “Bravebird” – Amel Larrieux
www.StacyeBranche.com
In Search of the Happy Ending
There are many times that we find ourselves disillusioned about our relationship. We seem to be looking for the unrealistic “Happy Ending”. But, the truth is it’s not about the “Happy Ending”, but the “Happy Journey”. The “Happy Journey” comes with communication, understanding, patience, and forgiveness. The road requires constant work and being mindful that you are dealing with another individual who is also growing and changing, and hopefully the two of you will be able to grow and change together. That is not to say that the “Happy Journey” doesn’t exist because it does. It is just that everyone’s “Happy Journey” looks different.
Because happiness has a different meaning for everyone this is why knowing who you are and what you want out of a relationship from the start is so very important, but also having realistic expectations about being in a relationship. The best start for any relationship is to have similar interest and goals, but it’s important to remember that there are many variables and you have to figure out the things that really matter to you, and the things that don’t. Although your teachings play a big part in your beliefs it is really what is in your heart and the heart of your partner that determines how you are going to live your life and conduct your relationship.
In a perfect world our relationships would last forever, but unfortunately some relationships have a shorter life span than others. So, you have to live in the moment, appreciate where you are and do your best where you are, and don’t worry so much about the where things are going but how there going. Because the fact is it’s not about the ending, but the journey.
Is your journey a Happy one?
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Son of the day: “Good Love” - Anita Baker
CD: “Giving You The Best That I Got”
www.StacyeBranche.com
The Fair Fight
The funny this about any relationship is that there will always be a disagreement about something. Some issues are big, some small, but the trick is handling them in a loving manner. It's not about the disagreement as much is how we resolve the disagreement, so there won’t be further disagreements about the same issue in the future.
Many times we're so wanting to be heard and to make our point, that we forget that our opinion is not the only opinion in the relationship that matters. We forget that both parties are seeing things from a different perspective. We forget that each person has their own backstory and baggage, as well as relationship history that each is using to inform their decision.
There's never really a right or wrong in relationships it's just understanding that we see things from different view points based on our history. So, here's the trick - neither has to be right or wrong but what both have to do is listen to one another. It is important to listen so we can hear and understand how the other person feels. It is very important to listen and be aware just as it's also important to make sure that when we disagree we are loving in how we make our point. There is never a need to belittle or discredit someone else's feelings or opinion.
The biggest mistake that we make when we are in a disagreement of any kind is that we pull out that arsenal of things that we know are hurtful and our goal seems to be not just to win but to hurt. Instead of us just making our point we go to this very dark and hurtful place. A place that in all actuality you can never really come back from. When one person verbally attacks, the other person wants to come harder, and what started as one person just wanting to make a point turns into both parties spewing out every little thing that has ever bothered them.
Unfortunately we are taught when in a confrontation to go for the jugular, but that doesn't serve us. That does not get us what we want, which is to be heard and for our feelings to be respected. When we speak on a situation, and how we feel about the situation that is bothering us in clear precise words, and come from a place of love that does not place blame, but expresses our feelings there is a much more positive outcome.
How are you expressing yourself?
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day: “Hurting Each other” - The Carpenters
The First Five Minutes
Most of us meet people and after about a fifteen-minute conversation we quickly invite them into our lives. Be it for a friendship or an intimate relationship because we found a couple of things that we had in common with them. There is that something about them that makes us want to know more.
Sometimes somewhere down the line we loose interest because there really wasn’t enough in common or we see a side of them that we hadn’t or chose not to see before. We see something that displeases us and we begin saying things like “I never saw that quality in them”, or “I would have never thought they would behave like that”.
Now, if you really look back on when you first met them there were signs of who this person really was, or there was an off feeling that you had that you chose to ignore. You wanted to believe this person was who they appeared to be, and they should be in your life.
The truth is when we first meet someone regardless of who they want us to think they are they will always show bits of their true self. If we listen and watch carefully the truth is never as undercover as they think it is. The signs of who a person is can be heard in their words and actions, as well as seen in their wardrobe, home, office, and even their car without even knowing it.
We each are always in someway telling or showing the truth about ourselves whether we are trying to hide it or not. It’s all about paying attention in that first five minutes.
Are you paying attention to the first five minutes???
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day: “Changed” - Maxwell
CD of The day : “Now” - Maxwell
The Game of Love
We desire to love and be loved, but it isn’t always so easy to obtain what we desire. Many of us have learned by our examples from our families and the media, as well as our own experiences on how to go about finding and being in a relationship. We keep trying to repeat the same patterns over and over again, and when they don’t work we want to know why. What we forget is that each person and each relationship is different, and although there can be some similarities no two people or relationships can ever be alike.
We want to believe that there is this one magical solution to a successful relationship, but there isn’t. We want finding someone to be easy, and we want the relationship to be easy, but the game of love is no different than the playing your favorite sport. To be good at it or to get to the play-off’s it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and focus.
Love is no different than Basketball, you can’t win the game by yourself. If you have ever played a sport you know that it requires practice, discipline, trial and error, research, learning your teammates strengths and weaknesses as well as your own, observation, communication, and dedication, but most of all it takes team work.
We can all have the relationship that we desire, but it requires that we put as much effort into the finding and maintaining of the relationship as we would any other goal that we would work to achieve.
Are you showing up to the game to win?
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye
Song of the day: “The Game of Love (feat. Michelle Branch)” - Santana
CD: Shaman
Repelling Negativity
It doesn’t matter where you come from or what you have been taught. We’ve all been exposed to negative thoughts and words. We have all had people in our lives that have said things to or about us that were unflattering and hurtful.
People say things because of their own self–doubt, self-hate, fears, insecurities, and disappointments. But that doesn’t make what they say true or any less hurtful. It just makes it their opinion.
If we know who we are it’s easy to say, “Isn’t that silly?” to those words that really have nothing to do with us. You can’t change what goes on in other people’s minds, their actions, and their words. But you can love yourself, love them, and move on.
All that matters is how we feel about ourselves. It’s sometimes hard to bounce back after a blow. But loving yourself and knowing who you are is the greatest weapon you will ever have against negativity.
Is your weapon of love ready?????
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye