Looking Passed The Fantasy

Most people have their fantasy of what the think their ideal mate should look like, act like, smell like, and taste like, but sometimes we are so busy looking for our idea of perfection that we miss out on true gifts. There is nothing wrong with knowing what you want or might think that you want in a mate. But, you have to be careful to not allow what you think is right for you to get in the way of what might be for your highest good.

For most people their fantasy consist mainly of the visual, and that is all great for the short term or one night stand, but when you are dealing with having a real relationship the fantasy should be much deeper than that. How someone looks, the kind of job someone has or how much money they make, these are things can help, but looks and money can be taken away in an instance. The true fantasy or desire should be to have someone in your life that loves and cares about you, someone that treats you well, someone who is thoughtful of your feelings, and someone that you genuinely share interest and values with.

Two people can meet and really hit is off, but one or both can allow something small to get in the way of how wonderful the other person might be. They move on in their life continuing to be attracted to the superficialwondering why they feel empty and can’t find a true connection.

It’s great if our fantasy shows up being everything that we need and want in our life, but if you are still in search of your fantasy or your fantasy has turned out to be a nightmare it might be time to start looking deeper than the surface. 

Are you able to dig down deep or are you stuck in the superficial?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Song of the day: “Dreamin” - Vaneesa Williams

From the book “It’s All In How You Look at It (thought and questions about love and relationships)”

Jealousy

Why is it so impossible for some people to be happy for others?

Have you every noticed that there are people in your life that you would think would be happy for you when you share something positive? You share something you’re excited about, and yet as you begin to share with them you can see their face turning, and within seconds the voice of doom rolls from their lips? 

Is it our parent’s, our teacher’s or society that makes us so selfish? Why can’t we be happy for others? What is it that makes us not believe that if someone else has something there won't be enough for us? Why do we judge our lives by what others have when all that matters is that we are happy with ourselves? 

 I am always happy for the people in my life. I believe that there is always enough, and that no one can take what is mine. For that reason, I am always able to share what I have, but I wonder what is it that makes some people so jealous, envious, and even spiteful? What I find more interesting are the people who seem to have it all, family friend, good job, and a nice home, and yet, they don’t wish well for others not do they seem to want others to move up in life.   

If you are healthy, have people in your life that care about you, a roof over your head, a job whether you love it or not, and are in some way are working towards the kind of life you want, then why would it be so hard to be happy for another person?

We are all individuals. What works for one person, will probably not work for another. “The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” Part of loving, and caring about another person is wanting the best for them, wanting them to be happy, celebrating their accomplishments with them, and doing your part when needed in helping them get to where they want to go. There is never any reason to not want good for others, because no one can take from you what is yours, and there is always enough. 

Are you happy for the people in your life?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Song of the day: “Be Thankful For What You Got”  - William DeVaughn

Rose-Colored Glasses

Hard as we may try we each are guilty of wearing rose-colored glasses where someone in our life is concerned. There maybe signs, or hint’s that something isn’t quite right, and yet we allow the beauty of who we want someone to be to cloud our judgment and how we deal with them.

It’s very easy for us to want someone to be what we want them to be. This usually comes from something lacking in our own life, and we look to this person to fulfill a desire that we have. Because, of our desire to have our storybook relationship or what we think is the right relationship we choose not to see someone for who they really are. It’s usually in romantic relationships that we put our rose-colored glasses on the most. We will turn a blind eye to something even though there are red flags popping up all around us.

The thing is that no matter who we want someone to be, we can’t just make them that –no matter how hard we try. Being in the right relationship is possible, but many times people are far too inpatient to wait for what is truly right for them. Instead they will try to force the situation they’re in to be the situation they think it should be, even when they know it may not be the right for them. 

Many times we will tell ourselves all kinds of lies to make our story sound like the greatest love story ever told. When in actuality by putting on our roses-colored glasses it could be setting the stage for our worst nightmare. We try to convince ourself that if we love someone enough they will become what we want, and that if we believe in our dream enough that our fairytale can come true.

It’s always important to see people for who they really are, as well as what they are and are not capable of doing to and for you. When you can see people as they really are, you are rarely disappointed and less likely to have your feelings hurt. You can never want a relationship so badly that you sacrifice your happiness trying to achieve it. Because, realizing that the toad is really just a toad, and not a prince or princess waiting to be kissed is always far more painful and harder to get over, than if you had just waited patiently for who was right for you. 

Are you seeing things clearly or wearing rose-coloredglasses? 

 Love and blessings in divine order, 

 Stacye

 Song of the day: Rose-Colored Glasses - Kelly Rowland

From the book “It’s All In How You Look at It (thought and questions about love and relationships)”

Need's Want's & Don't Want's

We all have qualities that we desire in a partner whether we have thought about them or not. Those qualities that we need want, and even don’t want in a relationship, and from a partner. In many cases because most people don’t think about the qualities that matter to them. Instead, they end up in unhappy relationships. They end up in situations where they are constantly trying to change the person they’re in a relationship with to change to be more like what they think desire. It’s unfair to go into a relationship wanting someone to be different to make you happy, and vice versa.

Whether you are in a relationship or not everyone should be clear about not only what they desire in their life, but what they need, want, and don’t want from a relationship. The root of most relationship problems stems from a person not knowing themselves, and what they truly need from their relationship.

So, I challenge you to make your list not only of your needs and wants, but what you don’t want as well. If you’re in a relationship, you may realize that you are with just the right person, and have a greater level of appreciation for your partner and the relationship, or you might find that you aren’t with the right person. But, at least you will be clear and know how to better proceed. If you are single with this list you will be better equipped to know who is and isn’t right for you, and maybe able to see and appreciate someone who might already be standing in front of your face.

Have you thought about what you need, want, and don’t want?

Love and blessings in divine order,

Stacye Branché

Song of the day: “Everything I Need” - Daniel

From the book “It’s All In How You Look at It (thought and questions about love and relationships)”

Cleaning Out The Closet

Each of us in our own way has a bit of clutter in our life that we have not dealt with, for whatever the reason. This clutter that I speak of, are the issues from our past that we have not only not addressed, but unknowingly continue to hold onto and allow to affect our life in the present, and many times into the future. 

Like our bodies that now and then need a detox to remove the old toxins, so do our lives. Unconsciously, we continue to bring negative people and situations into our lives without ever taking a moment to step back and reevaluate what no longer serves us. Many people don’t give themselves a break to figure out what is or isn’t working for them.  Nor, do they ever think about giving their life a good cleaning out. Every now and then, it’s good to take stock of what is going on in your life and to reevaluate the importance of the people and things in it. We each are ever changing and growing, and for that reason what may have worked in the past, may not work in the present. 

Sometimes the only way we can more forward to the amazing life we desire that we know awaits us is to address our past and put things in their proper place. When you can acknowledge who you are, and what you need in the present, it makes it much easier to let go of what no longer serves you.

Are you addressing your past, or are you sweeping things under the rug allowing them to get in your way?
Love and blessings in divine order, 
Stacye

Song of the day: “Pastime Paradise” - Stevie Wonder            

The Power of Our Words

Throughout our lives we casually say things, positive and negative without ever taking a moment to think about the power of our words.  We all have our beliefs of how life should be, but what we forget is that what works for one person may not work for another. Because, we each come to the table with a different background, and a different set of beliefs– we will never see things exactly the same way. 

The thing about words that people don’t always understand–is that words have power. Most of us desire happy lives filled with wonderful things, but we spend a great deal of time thinking and talking about all the things that we are unhappy about or don’t want, especially in relationships. In turn we continue receiving more of what we don’t want. Whether positive or negative if you say or think something enough it will eventually happen.  

So, instead of thinking and talking about what you don’t want, you have to find the positive in what you already have. You have to focus on what is already good in your life, and the good that you want to come. What you want may not come the way you want it to, but if you think positive, good will always come even if it doesn’t come exactly the way you think it should. 

We say things to and about each other that are sometimes unkind and hurtful, and many times our words are more wounding then we can imagine. But, just as we use our words and thoughts in an unkind way, we can use our words to uplift, motivate, and change our lives and the lives of others in a positive way. It’s easy to criticize someone because they don’t think the way you do, but it takes a bigger person to use their words in a constructive way to help someone understand their point of view or to help another person to better their life. 

It’s like the old saying “you get what you give.” If you use your words and your life in a positive way, you will get positive results in return. 

How are you using your words?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Song of the day: “Make Me Believe In You” - Curtis Mayfield    

In Search of Love

We all desire that magical feeling called love. The average person can’t actually describe love, and yet we all desire what we imagine it to be. Instead of starting with ourselves to find our happiness, and the love we desire, most people search outside of themselves expecting someone else to show them their worth, and give their life meaning. What many people don’t seem to realize is that to find the love they desire first starts with them loving themselves. 

A relationship should enhance your life, not be your life. The mistake that many people make is letting their loneliness and need for companionship get in the way of finding the best relationship for them. There are many people that don’t know or don’t take the time to figure out what it is they need and want from a relationship. But, they will instead go into a relationship trying to make it what they think it should be. Along the way they never take into account what the other person might want and need, or what the other persons expectations for a relationship might be. A person can be so caught up in how they think things should be, that they don’t allow themselves to enjoy things that are already good about their relationship. 

The search for love has to start with you. It’s about you loving you, and knowing what you need and want in your life, and in your relationships. It’s about finding the person that has the same or similar needs, wants and values that you do, and not expecting someone to change to fit what your perception of a partner should be. 

The pot of gold is always at the end of the rainbow. The reason people can’t find it is because in most cases they are just too lazy to do the work it will take to get there. 

Are you being honest in your search for love?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Song: “Here We Go Again” - Angie Stone

From the book “It’s All In How You look At It(thoughts and questions about love and relationships)

Healing The Past and The Wounds

There are times when a partner or friend will do or say something that hurts our feelings. The other person may not look at their words or actions as something hurtful, and the truth is, it may not have been. Those feelings of hurt that a person may be feeling may have more to do with their past, than their present. What many people never take into account when these situations occur is where these emotions might be coming from. They are coming from wounds from the past that hasn’t healed.

We all have a backstory and emotional baggage that we carry and hold onto from our past. Many times those wounds from the past, whether from our childhood or our past relationships, have not been addressed and continue to affect us in the present. This baggage, when not addressed has a way of getting in the way of our happiness in the present, and if not dealt with, our happiness in the future.

Most people don’t realize how much of their past they carry with them and how it affects every area of their life if not addressed. To help someone that we care about to move forward it can sometimes be as simple as pointing something out to them, or nurturing them through a situation, and to help them to turn what looked like a hopeless situation into a situation hope. This is not to say that you have to fix everyone you meet. Some situations might require much more time and work then a person wants to put in or is capable of putting in. But, it’s important to keep the other persons backstory in mind to prevent further misunderstandings.

We all have a history, which is why it’s so important, to be honest about who you are when going into a relationship of any kind, and to be with someone that you can able to talk to even about those things that are painful. The better you know your partner and they know you, the easier it is not to be offended or hurt by the things that the other might say or do but to work towards healing old wounds instead of reopening them.

Are you working on and healing your wounds from the past so that you can have an amazing present as well as future?

Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye

Song of the day: “In Too Deep”- Jon B.
CD: Helpless Romantic

Check Your Baggage

We all have a past, our journey of experiences and events good and bad that have helped to make up who we are, our backstory and our personal baggage. The thing about baggage is that we all have it, but we all carry it around differently. Some of us choose to carry more of it than others, and some people travel light. It’s usually the more negative of our baggage that we choose to display proudly for the world to see. We allow the negative baggage to continuously affect our life personally and professionally, which leads to more baggage.

The thing most of us don't take into consideration is that we all have had some unfortunate thing happen to us at different times in our life. None of us is the first, nor will any of us be the last person that something we consider unpleasant is going to happen to. And, it’s unfair for us to tote our baggage around continuously expecting everyone in our life to be a Bellmen. The worst thing about baggage is that as we continuously collect it, and collect it. We sometimes have collected so much baggage that we don’t realize how it is affecting our relationships, and how it has begun taking up so much room that it is crowding people out of our life.

Without challenges, there cannot be growth. Experiences are just that–experiences. No matter how unpleasant, uncomfortable or negative any experience may seem, if you can open your heart and mind to finding the lesson and the blessing that the experience has brought to your life, you will be able to continue on your journey with a much lighter load, and more room for the good experiences life has to offer.

Is your baggage in the way?

Love and blessings in divine order,

Stacye

Song of the day: “Bag Lady” - Erykah Badu

From the book : “It’s All In How You Look At It (thoughts and questions about love and relationships)”

Nobody's Perfect

We all have things that are challenging in our lives. Some things we choose to share with the people in our life, and others we want to keep to our self. But, no one’s life is without challenges. Many times people are hard on themselves because they feel they aren’t doing enough, or they don’t have enough because they’re comparing their life to someone else’s. No matter how together someone's life may seem, trust me somewhere in their life there is a challenge or two lurking behind the curtain.

We each deal with our challenges in the best way that we know how, using the examples given to us by our family, friends and the media. While going through a challenge, we experience doubt and fear. Doubt and fear in our decisions, and the possible outcome of our decision. But, if you think back there was some challenge from your past that has prepared you and is in some way helping you deal with the challenge that you face today.  

Every challenge is uncomfortable, but many times very necessary for our growth. I am always sorry when I see someone going through a difficult time, but at the same time, I know that it is part of their journey and their growth. 

No situation is perfect. Be kind to yourself, be patient, and stay aware. Know that everything that you need will come to you in the perfect time in the perfect way, and with every challenge comes with a lesson and a blessing.  

Love and blessings in divine order, 
Stacye

Song of the day: “Gonna Be Alright” - The Winans  

You Can't Force Love

I often hear people expressing that the one they love doesn’t love or has fallen out of love with them. It makes me sad because love is such a beautiful experience to share, but what makes me sadder is that these people don’t realize how what they are experiencing might just be a blessing in disguise.  The relationship they might have been in or desire to have might not be the best relationship for them at this point in their life. What they may not realize is that they might be hanging onto something that may not be meant for them,  and could be stopping them from having the love and relationship that they desire and deserve.  

We can never control or force someone else’s emotions, and we shouldn’t want to. Just because we think we know what is best for someone doesn’t mean that we do.  We each have our own path to walk, and lessons to learn in life. As we each walk our path and learn our lessons we will want and need different people in our life at different times. Many times people are drawn to the surface, but upon a closer look into a person of interest you might see all the qualities that you don’t want or don’t need in your life. 

When you know and love who you are, you can see passed the superficial and know what will or will not work for you. If you know your wants and needs, you will be able to see the reason why a relationship has disintegrated,  and you will know that it is probably the best thing for both of you. If a relationship isn’t working you can’t keep trying to force someone to be in the relationship the way that you want them to be.

People come into our lives for a reason and a season, and sometimes once you have acquired the lesson the season ends. Love you, know you, and know that there is always going to be someone who wants to know and love you too. 

Are you stopping yourself from finding or allowing true love to find you? 

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Wearing Armor

 It’s easy for us to go to that place of doubt, or that place of fear when dealing with the unknown or with our emotions. It can be especially difficult when we’re not surrounded by people that are like-minded, or who don’t support our ideas. As we get older and come into our own it is easy not to calm who we are completely because we fear we won’t fit in.

 We live in a society that for some reason doesn’t celebrate love, kindness, or vulnerability. Instead, people seem to condone and celebrate in some cases what some call “keeping it real” - a hard exterior, rudeness, and lack of consideration.

I try to see the best in everyone because I believe that there is good inside of everyone. I am always myself because I am not ashamed of anything about me. I am honored by my vulnerability, my inquisitiveness, and thoughtfulness. I display them fearlessly because I know that I will always be okay, and anything that might be seen as negative is really a wonderful life lesson for me to learn from. I don’t believe that there is anything that I have experienced that should dictate that I need to live guarded and fearful.

I say all this to say, that if you go into any relationship fearful and guarded, never showing your true self, then how could you possibly expect anyone to show their true self to you? How can you expect the other person to know who you are, and how you really want and need to be treated if they only ever see the armor that you wear?

Most people desire relationships filled with love and kindness, but the first step to a having a relationship filled with all that you want is to show up as all that you are. If you show up as all that you are, and someone doesn’t like who you are, then you need to figure out if that is a relationship that you need to hold on to. 

I have a saying; “You can get new clothes if your closet is full.” If you get rid of some of those old people in your life, the ones that need or want you to be different to make them happy, you will find that you have the room for the new people who will love and respect you for all that you are.

Are you wearing your armor?

Love and blessings in divine order,

Stacye

Take Your Bags To The Curb

We all have a past or baggage if you will, but it’s important to remember that the things that have happened in our past are experiences for us to grow from and to make us stronger. The things that have happened are not who we are or who we have to be. Nothing that has happened in a person’s life was meant to hold them back or bring them down. Too many times we allow our past experiences of all kinds to weigh us down so badly that we allow them to cloud our judgment, affect how we make decisions, and prevent us from moving forward.

So many times things don’t go as we would like them to, or we are unable to live up to someone’s expectations of us, and we allow those things to weigh on us. We then dig into our “bags of the past” and pull out an excuse on why things are not going right for us, or why we can’t do something in the present. We hold onto and collect this baggage like in some way it is going to protect us; when really what it’s doing is blocking our blessings. In most cases we are not allowing ourselves to live, we are not allowing ourselves to grow, and most importantly in many cases, we are not allowing ourselves to truly love ourselves or others. 

Experiences are just that–experiences. You take what you need and you discard the rest. The good you hold onto to get you through the difficult times, and the unpleasant experiences you take the lesson learned, and you move on. You should ever allow any experience to stop you from living their best life.

Are you taking your baggage out to the curb? 

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

Song of The day: “Bag Lady” - Erykah Badu

Choices

People often ask me how can I be so positive. The truth is – it is a choice I’ve made. I, like everyone else have things that go on in my day and in my life that I would prefer not happen, but I realize that everything happens for a reason. Everything that happens to me, just like for everyone else, whether pleasant or uncomfortable, I believe is to aid me in my personal growth.

At the time I’m going through something, I know no matter how challenging it may be that it is something that I must go through. When I look back on the situation, I know that the reason for the experience, and the lessons learned will be clear to me. I recently had a day where choices needed to be made. I woke up at my usual time, I looked at the clock, and for whatever reason, I just didn’t want to get up. I didn’t know why, I just didn’t want to. So, I went back to sleep. An hour later I woke up, said my daily affirmations, got dressed, made my way to the kitchen to have my breakfast, and then I made my way back to my room and back to bed. There was an issue in my life that had been on my mind, and on that morning that issue was winning. That doesn’t happen to me very often, but on that day it did. Yes, I was having a moment of defeat, and I didn’t feel like facing the day.

I laid in the bed for about fifteen minutes, and then I made the choice to change my day. There was no way I was going to let anything wear me down for long, let alone a whole day. Because, I believe that to every problem there is a solution and that with every challenge there will always be a lesson and a blessing. I knew if got out of my own way I could see the answer, and learn the lesson I was meant to learn.

My solution was to get myself up out of that bed, get dressed and give my problem to God. I got to my workout with a smile on my face. I spoke to everyone I came in contact with. I went through my day giving thanks for all that I had, but most of all giving thanks that the challenge in my life was handled.

You see, the shift in attitude is a choice. I could have stayed in that bed all day, and there was nothing stopping me accept my desire to have better. Throughout my life friends would often wonder how I could let things roll off my back so easily, and my response to them then as it is today is that I know I will be okay, and that all that happens in my life is for my good, because I know God’s got me.

If happiness is what you desire. You have to remember that happiness is a choice.

Are you choosing to be happy?

Love and blessings in divine order,

Stacye

Song of the day: “Happy” - Pharrell Williams

From the book “It’s All In How You Look At It(thoughts and questions about love and relationships)

Loving You

The most difficult question you will ever have to answer, is who are you? That includes your likes and dislikes, as well as what you need and want. Most people never stop and think about these things. They go through their lives with some idea of themselves, and most of what they think about themselves is the image that was given to them by their family and friends.

What if for today, for this moment you thought about what was truly in your heart? What if in this moment, you thought about the life you truly desire for yourself? Not the life you have been told you should have, but the one you would have if you could have anything without fear or criticism.

Where would you live? What type of house would you have? Would you be married or single? Would you have children? What kind of career would you have?How much money would you make? What type of car would you drive? 

Those are the simple questions, now let’s get real.

Would you be more honest with yourself and others? Would you communicate better? Would you be more sensitive? Would you express yourself better? Would you express yourself more? Would you be more affectionate? Would you be more romantic? Would you be more fearless in your actions? What do you like best about yourself? What do you think are your best qualities? What are the things you don’t like about yourself, and would like to change? What brings you the most joy, and why? What relaxes you? What are your interests? What do you like or not like about sex? Do the people in your life share your interest? What do you love the most about the life you live right now? Do you like you?

Life is what you make it. You can have the exact life that you choose to have, if you truly choose to have it. Changes might need to be made, but all you have to have is faith, and the willingness to change. The first start is knowing who you are, and where it is you desire to go. 

Love and Blessings, 

Stacye

“I love you for who you are, not for who you feel you need to be” 

Sylvester Stewart a.k.a Sly Stone

Song of The Day: “Everybody Is A Star” – Sly and The Family Stone

Finding Life's Filling Station

Many people walk through their lives trying to find happiness, but yet they do many things and surround themselves with people that don’t aid them in their quest. So, if the goal is to be happy, then why don’t people put themselves in more situations that could possibly bring them the happiness they desire?

I believe that our purpose on this Earth is to be happy, and bring happiness to others. But, somehow many of us end up walking the path that we think we should walk, instead of the path that’s best for us. In turn, this detour usually takes us far from happiness. People chase money and status only to find out that once we have reached the desired plateau that happiness doesn’t live there. No matter how hard you try, all the money in the world isn’t going to fill that void. If you are doing all the things that you were taught and told you should do, and you still feel unsatisfied and empty, then you are not doing what you should be doing–the thing or things that you are passionate about that you were meant to do.

True happiness is an inside job. You can’t find it looking outside of yourself because your happiness starts with you knowing and loving who you are. When you know and love yourself, then the true journey begins. You are able to bring the people and things into your life that will further aid you in your happiness.  When you feel good about you and the life you’re living, and you will be in a continuous state of filling yourself up with love. When you are doing the things you enjoy and surrounding yourself with people that you enjoy, you feel good, look good, and you are able to give the love you feel back to the world.

Are you filling yourself up with love?

Love and blessings in divine order, 
Stacye

Song of the day: “Living In Truth” - Stacye Branché

From the book: “It’s All In How You Look At It(thoughts and questions about love and relationships)”

Accepting

It’s funny how un-accepting we can be. We criticize, we judge, and just basically make no effort to understand when people are different from ourselves. Why is it so hard for us to accept what it different? Why can’t we allow others to be themselves? 

What makes the world interesting is individuality. Be it Black, White, Straight, Gay, Married, Single, Thin, Thick Christian, Jewish or Muslim.  Why can’t we allow others the express themselves the way they see fit as long as they are bringing no harm to others? But, more importantly, why can’t we appreciate, and be loving towards those that are different? Why can’t we educate ourselves and others on the things that we fear or don’t understand so that we will fear them no more? 

I ask these questions because I notice that during the course of the day there is no person who does not experience, or witness some form of discrimination because they or someone else is in some way different in appearance or culture. Instead of blessing the spirit that stands before us, celebrating their individuality or maybe taking a moment to get a better understanding of the other person, we judge and in some cases, we harm. The truth is we are all different but in many ways the same.

We come from different times, cultures, backgrounds, and religions, but at the end of the day, we have to remember we are one. There is only a difference if you want there to be. Whatever our differences,  they shouldn’t get in the way of anyone being loving, kind, considerate, or understanding. Every life from every race, social, economic background, and religion is valuable and should be respected for who they are and not feared for what we don’t understand. 

Yes, we all run into those that do or wish to do harm to others, and those people come in all colors and religions, but it still does not call for judgment –just distance.  You bless them and send them on their way. We will never really understand all that there is in the world, but my won’t it be fun trying.

Were you accepting today?

Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye

 Song of the day: “We Are One” - Frankie Beverly and Maze

Taking Care of You

It’s an amazing thing to watch your life change, as you truly love yourself.  We always think that we love ourselves, until the day that we realize we really do.  Things that worked before no longer work, friends that we thought we couldn’t live without, we realize we aren’t as dependent on, and we realize that we are truly comfortable in the space we’re in.

Self-love and Self-respect these are interesting terms that not everyone understands or applies. We are taught to love others, to do for others, to give to others, but in all of that giving no one ever really teaches us how to truly love ourselves. As children, we are taught to share, and to not be selfish.  We are told that all of this giving will make us good people, and most of us spend our lives trying to be the people we have been taught to be. But, many times we focus so much on others that we forget to focus on ourselves.

In the course of all this loving, sharing, and giving to everyone else are we are never really thought how to love ourselves, which can make us vulnerable to those who try to take advantage of our kindness, or as they say “Those who mistake our kindness for weakness.” Self-love isn’t about being selfish. Self-love is honoring you, your beliefs, and making sure you take care of you. In the course of all that teaching of kindness, we’re never taught that.

We have to remember everyone wants what they want, and sometimes without thinking about how their wants might affect others. But, if you are clear about who you are and your needs, then you can generously give to other without ever neglecting yourself. 

 Are you taking care of you?

Love and blessings in divine order, 

Stacye

From the book “It’s All In How You Look AT It (thoughts and questions about love and relationships)

First, I Must Love Myself

There are many things people desire, but on the top of most people’s lists is Love. We all want love and companionship, but how can we expect someone to want to be with or around us if we don’t even want to be around ourselves? 

I think self-love first comes from knowing who you are, and being comfortable with who we are. The most important thing is knowing that you are the best that you can be for yourself. No matter what shape, size, or color, you are the best you can be, and you understand that you don’t need anyone in your life that you have to be different for.

I think sometimes we try to fool ourselves. We try to be something we’re not because we’re lonesome or we want to fit in. So, we try to impress someone else thinking that it will make them want to be around us, using our words, actions, and sometimes gifts. But, worse some people will settle for someone that they have nothing in common with, or someone who is abusive to them either verbally or physically because they can’t face being alone, and they believe that something is better than nothing.  They are too lazy or too impatient to wait for who and what is right for them.

I have dated men that no one in my life could understand why I did not choose to continue a relationship with. It was because I knew who I was, and what I really needed from a relationship.  I could see that in the long run, neither of us would really be happy. We would just not be alone. I couldn’t see being in a relationship that was in no way going to enrich either of our lives, and I hold that rule be it love, friends, or family.  If someone doesnot in some way enrich your life, then you have to make room for people who will. Because, at the end of the day, life is about being happy on the journey, even if that journey is spent alone.

In loving and knowing myself it is easier for me to know what and who I truly desire in my life, and always have room for those people and things.

Are you loving yourself?
Love and blessings in divine order,
Stacye

From the book “It’s All In How You Look At It (thoughts and questions about love and relationships)”

Making Room For Happiness

Happiness can sometimes seem eluding, but the truth is that sometimes we have to make room for it. In life there are always going to be up’s and down’s and sometimes the down’s seem lingering, but that means it is time to clean the closet of our life. 

As we go through life we often don’t realize how much stuff we are collecting. Not just material things but people, and emotions.  Now, most of us are aware of the fact that we need to let go and clean our physical closets, homes garages, but very few of us ever think about or take the time clean our emotional closets. In that search for happiness we don’t realize that what holds us back from the happiness we desire is our allowing past experiences, hurts and sometimes people to get in the way. Unfortunately, many of us just continue to live our lives without taking a moment to acknowledgeand deal with what we have been through so that we can move forward. 

Happiness can be found in the smallest and simplest things, but when your emotional closet is full or overrun with negative things and people how can you find appreciation for those good people and things? How can you find joy, or happiness in a closet full of clutter?

We all have so much going on, but it is important to make time even if it is only five minutes a day to check in with yourself and let go of some of those unwanted and many times negative feelings that fill your emotional closet and get in the way of your happiness. Because, happiness isn’t hiding from you, it is just waiting for some room so it can come in. 

Are you making room for the happiness you seek or are you holding onto the clutter that prevents happiness from coming into your life? 

Love and blessings in divine order,

Stacye